#like i still don't really want my own kids i don't think but i want to be like. a cool aunt
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I was a homophobe until I was 12 years old. I just happened to be the type of curious person with access to my own desktop PC when most kids my age shared the family computer, so I was exposed to a LOT more than my peers a lot earlier. Over our teen years, most of my friends found their own gateways to thinking differently. Pretty much all of my friends were homophobic when we were young, we were raised in the south and were parroting what our parents told us, so even back then I didn't think they were terrible for not having the realization yet.
Tbh I think some people underestimate how being in even a mildly homophobic family is indoctrinating. Most of us that realized this shit young were already being abused for other reasons, so we had reasons to question our parents.
But a lot of people have bigoted parents that aren't abusive monsters to their kids, so they grow up to adulthood feeling loved and well adjusted but never really questioning the homophobia, ESPECIALLY if they live so where you don't see open and out LGBT people. Like the south! And small towns!
Not to mention the impact the internet plays as an education tool. I feel like some people don't realize there's still plenty of rural folks that don't have access to reliable internet, or there's people that can't afford it. You're in a bubble already if you live in a place like that, and the internet is a huge mechanism for the transfer of ideas like this.
Like I can feel bitter and salty all I want about the virulent and loud homophobes currently out there causing problems.
But if people are scrutinized for changing their mind and feel constantly on the edge of being vilified, that's an obstacle to us having more people on our side.
i do not care if someone learned compassion from a cartoon or a comic or an anime im just glad they're here with us now a better person fighting the good fight. should it have taken something so trivial? maybe not- but it's in the past! and this is the now! and if they're objectively better for it who cares
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How about Joshua with a s/o who always wears baggy clothes and doesnt feel attractive because she doesnt wear revealing ones ?
If u want to write it pls do it only if u are ok with it and feel inspired ♡♡
content: bf!joshua, established relationship, some talk about insecurities, fluff, etc.
wc: 605
a/n: so sorry i took so long to write this!!
masterlist
"hey, babe, have you seen my shirt? you know, the grey one with the loose neck? i thought i- oh."
"huh? what was that?", you asked as you took out an earbud, turning to look at the boy who'd been trying to call your attention.
chuckling, he rounded the kitchen island to reach your side, hands practically attaching to your waist like magnets as he aided you in removing the other earbud, placing both on the counter next to you.
"i was just wondering where my band tee went, but i think i have my answer," he chuckled, pressing a sweet peck to your temple.
"oh, fuck. sorry, josh. do you want it? i can go change," you went to disconnect from him, but he wasnt having it, instead nuzzling his head on your shoulder.
"hm. it smells of my cologne still," he said almost to himself, "you don't have to take it off. i like you in my clothes," he reassured.
you could only scoff.
"your clothes are baggy on me. just like all my other clothes. what difference does it really make?"
joshua shrugged, "just like knowing you're wearing something of mine. you're style's cute. you're cute."
"flattery will get you everywhere, hong," you laughed.
it was one of those nice, domestic moments that occurred every so often. you basked in it, enjoying it before the two of you went back to your regular days.
it wasn't until later that you started to think about what you'd said to joshua earlier.
you did have a tendency to wear baggier clothes. hell, there really was no difference between wearing something of his and a piece of your own. it was incredibly rare for you to show skin or any sort of silhouette, and those instances were really reserved for nights too warm to handle in which you had to opt for some shorts and a tank top.
but even then, you went for looser ensembles. clothes that showed your figure were never really your forte.
you couldn't help but wonder if this ever bothered josh. would he have preferred if your style varied more? what if he thought of you as a prude? maybe he-
"what's got you thinking so loud?", the boy in question interrupted your inner turmoil.
you hadn't realized as you sat in front of your vanity, face wash in hand and still unused, that you'd frozen in place as you thought. his presence in the restroom hadn't registered until he spoke.
"just, uh," you pondered as to whether or not to voice your concerns, but his compassionate smile reflecting on the mirror made you decide, "i was thinking that maybe you'd like it better if i dressed differently? you know, maybe show more skin?"
you voiced it as a question, insecurities building in you as you sought a direct expression of his preferences.
"are you kidding? i like how you dress. and it's not really something that bothers me. you're comfortable and you're beautiful. it's a win-win situation for me," he kind of chuckled as he spoke, finding your question very sudden and unnecessary.
"oh."
you felt a bit dumb now.
"has this been worrying you? you know i'm like obsessed with you, right? you could wear a trash bag and i'd still be as obsessed," he joked, closing in on you similarly to how he'd done earlier in the day.
he finished his statement with a kiss pressed to your lips, humming when you kissed back.
"this just gives me free reign of your closet. i hope you know that," you jested.
"baby, i'm rich. take whatever you want."
#seventeen x reader#seventeen fanfic#svt fanfic#svt x reader#seventeen imagine#seventeen oneshot#svt reactions#seventeen reaction#joshua oneshot#joshua imagines#joshua x reader#joshua fanfic#joshua scenarios
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ARCANE S2 ACT 1 SPOILERS BELOW as I analyse the scene between Vi, Jinx, Caitlyn and Isha, what it means for them, and the link to Caitlyn's 3-point plan for the strike team.
I don't usually post about Arcane here but I need a place to talk about it without word limits so here we are. Also my comparison between MTP's telling of A scandal in Bohemia and the og will be done at some point I have just been very distracted.
So the scene I'm focusing on starts here when Isha runs up to where Jinx and Vi are fighting, lying between them a pointing a gun at Vi to protect Jinx.
Now Isha is a kid that has accidentally wandered into Jinx's life and gotten attached to her enough to wish to try and save her from danger - a new found family for Jinx alongside Sevika (who gives aunt vibes to me). But not just any kid is going to run into the line of fire like this. If we know anything about Isha now it's that she's brave - really brave - but also shouldn't have to be in this position.
Taking at look at her face, Isha's expressions seem to flick between anger and fear quite quickly. There's the facial muscles around her nose often flaring for that anger, but also a deep fear you can see too.
I think it's how she maintains focus on Jinx whilst the gun is turned away to Vi that's interesting. It's clear that she's afraid of what Vi is doing and is focused mostly on protecting Jinx - so that gun isn't something she necessarily wants to fire. She occasionally kept trying to press the trigger, but her hesitation isn't necessarily that she can't, but that she doesn't want to. She had ample time to take a very clear shot but she doesn't (this is interesting when we think about Caitlyn nearby who is desperate to take a shot even if it's not completely clear - Isha's motive is protection whereas Caitlyn's is revengeful action). And once she is unarmed all she can do is cling to Jinx. Perhaps both for her protection of Jinx or for Jinx to protect her. Like how a child would cling to a mother or father or even a bigger sister. Isha is supposed to play the role of a younger sibling to, in my eyes, mimic that of Vi and Powder that Jinx is desperate to protect.
I wanted to move on to Vi because I think her reactions/expressions are the most interesting. You get to see her face a lot, and once Isha has the gun to her face the main expression is one of fear. Not fear for her own safety, but a fear for Isha's safety, AND a fear of what she's been doing as an enforcer.
When Isha has the gun, all Vi can focus on is this mystery child - who she's never seen before might I add- suddenly appearing to protect Jinx. Even if Isha is scared she's still trying to protect her, trying to help even. Perhaps Vi sees herself here, a kid just trying to protect her loved ones from the enforcers that oppressed them. Perhaps she sees Powder, a kid throwing themselves in harms way just to try to help. Either way, she sees an innocent kid putting themselves in the line of fire to protect their loved ones. Except this time Vi is the dangerous one, rather than the protector role she used to fill.
When the gun is knocked away we see Vi again, frozen in place as she stares at Isha clinging to Jinx. This one feels so much more like a face of realisation - that Jinx still has loved ones left and that Vi has become the problem she swore to destroy. She's become the enforcer who enters Zaun to 'clear stuff up' with no regard for how it affects the people of Zaun. Instead of a protecter, she has become an aggressor.
If you will, remember Caitlyn's 3 goals - 'Locate Jinx, Dismantle Shimmer, and neutralise any agents still loyal to Silco'. I feel that this is where Vi realises that those goals only truly help the people of Piltover rather than anyone in Zaun.
1 - 'Locate Jinx' - this is basically corporate speak for Caitlyn wanting to k!ll Jinx. Originally, Vi was fine with this, seeing Jinx as a 'monster she created' and who 'taints the memory of her sister' Powder. But in doing so, she now realises that she will leave people behind who care for Jinx - Isha in particular. She's seen in her life so many kids left behind after enforcers killed their parents/families who then turn to rebellion (INCLUDING HERSELF AND POWDER!!) that she knows if she k!lls Jinx here with Isha as witness that the cycle will only continue - more kids who turn to violence as a result of trauma. If she were to go through with it she'd have become a direct parallel to those enforcers who killed her own parents, and she's already become a parallel to the ones who terrorised her and her family in her childhood with her activities in the Zaun strike team (especially with their usage of the Grey).
2 - 'Dismantle Shimmer' - whilst the removal of this drug is a good thing for pretty much anyone, the way the team go about it creates huge problems. The team are specifically shown to simply burn large quantities of the stuff (in the opening montage to 'Hellfire') - not only does this add more dangerous gasses to the underground areas (which they've already been releasing the Grey into), but it also creates issues for addicts. With access to it simply cut off, a decent portion of the population who are addicted to it will experience pretty dangerous withdrawal symptoms which could even lead to d3ath. With no system in place, addicts are left entirely on their own, so the destruction of Shimmer like this only helps those in Piltover remove a threat to them without actually helping the people. Meanwhile higher-ups in Piltover like Salo can use it recreationally (for his tattoos, even if frowned upon as implied by Mel's conversation with Lest).
3 - 'Neutralise any agents still loyal to Silco' - I'm pretty sure the Chembarons are considered Silco loyalists due to the Zaun strike team's attack on one of Margot's brothels in episode 2. The Chembarons, now down to 3 of them, were heralded as the only leadership of Zaun besides Silco. Their infighting has caused major issues in Zaun, but their elimination will not necessarily help Zaun in the long run. The removal of the Chembarons will leave a power vacuum, much like the one already left by Silco, that others will only step into over time. The removal of leadership in Zaun will only cause more issues as up-and-comers will try to fill the power vacuum and build their own forces, eventually becoming a new threat but not without a long period of chaos as people try to build resources to fill the vacuum. Piltover needs the removal of those with current power and forces to remove any possible threats of attack like the attack on the councillor memorial. It is, again, only for the benefit of Piltover.
Vi had seen becoming an Enforcer as the only way to bring down Jinx (reinforced by Caitlyn's insistence of doing things together and also partly by Maddie talking about what Caitlyn did to get her the job) AND as a way of protecting Caitlyn, but now I feel that she has been able to see the negative affect she's been having on the people of Zaun - her own people. I think this is why Vi switches into doing anything she can to protect Isha and Jinx, her protective side for Powder kicking back in specifically.
Looking back at Jinx, she was so ready to d!e at Vi's hands until Isha appears. Her expression here is the clearest look at her emotions we really see in the sequence - concern and fear. We know she's not afraid of dying or k!lling (especially when she said earlier before the fight that she's not remorseful of orphaning kids as she's 'done it to herself enough'), but she's so visibly afraid of Isha being hurt, and afraid that Vi would be the one to kill Isha. She's grown attached to Isha more than she'd like to admit, perhaps even seeing similarities to her and Powder (especially in their desire to help their family).
Once Isha's gun is shot away she clings to Jinx. Jinx at first is trying to claw her off - get her away from the danger, telling her to 'scram', referring to her simply by 'kid' so she leaves and doesn't get hurt. But when Vi is just sitting there looking rather than attacking she brings Isha in closer as a form of protection and looks at Vi. The way she looks at Vi. That's fear. She's afraid of her own sister again. She's afraid her sister will hurt an innocent kid, who's just trying to help, with a punch again. All her face says is 'Don't hurt this kid'.
And it's devastating. Devastating for both Jinx and Vi. Jinx sees her sister as a threat, whereas Vi begins to see a bit of Powder in Jinx again. She sees herself about to repeat a mistake that previously cost her everything - leaving a child alone with no support. This is also part of what turns Vi to protect Jinx and Isha from Caitlyn.
Last but not least, Caitlyn.
Caitlyn's effect on this scene can sometimes be forgotten (I almost didn't include her in this analysis at all) but it's actually bigger than one may think. I mentioned before how her desperation to k!ll Jinx causes her to shoot even when her shot is not clear (and how it contrasts Isha's reluctance to shoot even with a clear shot), but there's also so much more. For one, she shoots at the gun Isha is holding almost without a second thought. She tries to shoot Jinx whilst Isha is clinging on to her almost without a second thought. She shoots Vi's gauntlets when she tries to stop her. She frankly is unhinged at this point, tunnel vision on killing Jinx with no regard for anyone else in this situation, not just Isha but Vi also.
Grief is a strange thing. It can create many reactions from people depending on their situation. In Caitlyn's case, her grief has morphed into a desire for revenge and a thirst for violence, strengthening her pre-established prejudices towards Zaunites that she was so adamant in reversing in season 1. In her grief there is one constant - blame for Jinx - that morphs into further prejudices towards Zaunites as a whole to justify her actions in her own mind. She similarly justified her tunnel vision in this fight with the idea that 'she wasn't going to miss' despite missing her shot multiple times already (specifically when she shoots to k!ll Jinx and only hits her middle finger).
Her actions here are what happens when grief takes control and her usual logic and reasoning is not able to intervene as much as usual. Her insistence on not harming innocents (seen early in episode one), her understanding of how Zaunites were treated unfairly (s1 episode 7) - it's all overshadowed by her grief. However, her grief doesn't excuse her actions - she's still making decisions based on her own internalised prejudices that with her grief are projected outwards and drive her actions.
This has all culminated here, where her tunnel vision has led to her hurting Vi and almost caused her to hurt an innocent child. She's this looming threat to the scene, her hextech rifle being probably the most powerful weapon here - and it's in the hands of someone who is vengeful and seemingly trigger-happy and in a position of power she was not ready for. If Vi was a big danger in Jinx and Isha's eyes at first, there's a bigger danger in Caitlyn, one that even Vi notices. And she's only going to get worse next arc.
[There could be more to say but I think this is a great place to end it! I may make more arcane posts as s2 releases but i'll have to see, I just really wanted to talk about this scene in particular it's just so interesting.]
#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane season two#arcane spoilers#arcane season 2 spoilers#arcane vi#vi arcane#arcane jinx#arcane isha#arcane caitlyn#jinx arcane#jinx#isha arcane#caitlyn kiramman#caitlyn arcane#arcane analysis
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Sims In Bloom: Generation 2 Pt. 87 (Ghost Night at the Salty Paws Saloon)
Though rare for bars to welcome ghosts with discounted prices, the Salty Paws Saloon in Fisherman's Wharf wanted to embrace any form of sim who dared spend simoleons at their middling establishment.
Their new Ghost Night was an experiment promoted in the Ambrosia Society's final newsletter, and Heather and Conrad had come on a mission of their own.
"You really think it's possible the man you met outside the historical museum could be here?" wondered Heather. "At Ghost Night?"
Conrad shrugged. "I haven't seen or heard trace of him since that night, and without his name I don't know how to find him. Besides, you're the one who suggested he might be a ghost."
"Yeah, but I was kidding."
Brindleton Bay had little in the way of nightlife. The Calico Lounge and Yacht Club down the road was where higher society danced and socialized, but spending the night surrounded by ghosts in a dive bar was just fine for Heather and Conrad.
In the early days of their relationship, when Ash was still a baby, they'd come here after watching seals at the pier. They'd share a basket of fries and maybe watch a sportsball game or two on the big screen. It was even where Ash learned to pull himself up to stand, and would always be a sentimental place for them.
Now with busy careers, two kids, and the added stress Conrad tried to keep to himself, it had been too long since they'd been out together. Considering their laid-back dating style, it was unsurprising they'd chosen such an untraditional night out.
Conrad pulled out his phone so they could mug for a selfie. "After everything we've seen with the Ambrosia Society newsletters, are you not just a little curious?"
"Of course I am. I want you to find an answer to at least one mystery taking up space in your mind. You're so stressed lately with work, the kids, and now with George Brindleton, closing the book on something would be good. And I want to help you, like always. It's just...What are you going to do if you find out the old man is a ghost?"
"Find out what he wants, I guess? His unfinished business."
They were both a little hungry, but the food at the Salty Paw was usually terrible, so they settled for sharing a bowl of chips from seats at the bar. The place filled first with human patrons, but as the night wore on, several ethereal beings floated into the pub.
One took a seat at the empty barstool to Heather's right. He gave them both respectful nods, and they returned the polite greeting, unsure what to say next. What sort of small talk were you supposed to make with a ghost?
But this man took an immediate interest in Heather, taking care of the small talk on his own. "Good evening, miss. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance. My friends call me Felix Psyded, Esquire. Lawyer, entrepreneur, and founder of the University of Britechester."
Conrad smirked. "They call you all that? I think I remember reading urban legends about you when I was in college."
"I've read them. None are true. I haven't stayed haunting the halls of my own university. I've been trying to visit as many places as I could."
"As a ghost?"
Felix turned up his nose at Conrad's surprise. "And what do your friends call you?"
"My friends call me Conrad. Pretty much everyone else calls me Sargent Gordon."
"Well, Sargent, what brings you out to pay full price for drinks on a night for sims in my predicament? Are you here to remember lost souls in the spirit of the day? Maybe a war hero?"
"My fiancee, Heather, and I are on a date tonight."
"And we're looking for someone. He might be a ghost. If he is...maybe you know him?"
The ethereal lawyer nodded warmly. "Miss Heather, I've been a ghost for many years and I've met many like me. What's his name?"
"That's the thing, we don't know it. He said he's lived in Brindleton Bay all his life, came out of the museum and offered to show Conrad around the lighthouse after hours."
"It's hard to get far without a name, and I haven't spent that much time here over the years. What does he look like?"
"Well, he's not...translucent," said Conrad. "He's elderly, tanned skin, wavy hair, mustache...I met him once outside the historical museum but I haven't seen him since. I haven't been able to get out to Deadgrass Isle much lately, either, but no one at the museum knows him, and I'm starting to think if he's not a ghost, I imagined him completely."
Felix sniffed. "Sounds very generic. Maybe it is all in your head."
"Forget it. I don't see him here, anyway."
"I'm not saying I couldn't help you. I've become a bit of a ghost historian in the many, many years since I expired."
"Why haven't you crossed over?" asked Heather. "Do you have unfinished business?"
"I most certainly do! Today is the anniversary of my death - I died all the way back in 1915, before this day was even known as Remembrance Day. And I came here to drink myself into a stupor so I can forget how I died far too soon."
"Your unfinished business is to just drink your pain away every year?"
"No, Sargent. I pine for the life I could have lived! I had just opened the University of Britechester with a ribbon-cutting ceremony and the linguistics professor told a very good joke. I laughed harder than I intended. You might say I became hysterical - very unbecoming in my day - and the next thing I knew, the Grim Reaper himself was offering to help me cross over. I told him thank you, but no thank you. Even if I couldn't live as a human, I wasn't going anywhere."
"That's a terrible reason to die, because something was funny," said Heather, as she and Conrad both took a drink of their cream colas in perfect sync. But Conrad finished his in a single gulp, and Heather noticed.
Felix sighed. "That's not even the saddest part. When I died, I lost my love. She remarried another man and had a family and all but forgot me, while I spent her years on earth unable to move on. She's spending her afterlife with her husband, and I can't say I blame her..."
"That's rough," acknowledged Conrad. "I'm sorry."
"I would be willing to keep helping you, if you can point me in the direction of someone who's here for the Ambrosia Society. I've heard the Watcher's put an end to emotional deaths, and I can laugh as hard as I like without keeling over a second time! I was hoping to finally meet someone who can make ambrosia."
Heather smiled. "I could do that. I've learned how! I haven't made it yet, but we have the ingredients. We took the society up on their challenge for our own reasons, but we could always get more ingredients later. Will you help us figure out the identity of the old man at the museum if I make you some ambrosia?"
"I would be honoured to help you, Miss Heather. Though I do have one more imposition to place on you. Would you allow me to stay in your home tonight? Brindleton Bay has little in the way of empty rooms, and I would only ask for a humble sofa to rest."
Conrad wavered. His phone beeped and he checked the call display, cringing when he recognized the San Myshuno area code in the unlisted number.
"Is that work?" asked Heather. "Do you need to answer that?"
Ximena had finally returned the call he'd placed yesterday in frustration, but she'd waited until the evening, when he was more likely to be with his family. He put the phone back in his pocket. Ximena would have to wait, and Rafa, too. Wherever he was.
"It's not work. It's an unlisted number, probably just spam." He turned to their new ghostly acquaintance with a frown. "Listen, we've got kids at home, Mr. Psyded."
"Esquire. Felix Psyded, Esquire," complained the apparition. "And I'm very good with children. I'd like to have one or two of my own someday, should I get to live again."
Heather and Conrad stood to speak quietly. "Ash and Lavender will both be in bed by the time we get home," she reasoned.
"And when the kids wake up in the morning?"
"Maybe...maybe meeting a real ghost is how I can start talking to Ash about life and death. He's so smart - too smart for his own good sometimes, I think. But if he learns about ambrosia and death flowers now, maybe one day if he ever hears about the curse, it'll all be easier to talk about."
Felix poked his head in with interest. "Who's curse?"
Conrad snapped his head back. "Just a minute, Felix Psyded, Esquire."
"You're not having a very good night. Are you, Sargent?"
"I did notice you kept giving moon eyes to my fiancee."
"Both of you, stop! We'd be happy to have you over tonight, Mr. Psyded. Esquire. But please don't get off on the wrong foot with Conrad or come home and scare our kids."
"You have my word, I won't possess a single piece of furniture!"
They spent a few more hours meeting several ghosts who made their way to the bar for cheap drinks, hoping against hope that the man from the museum might eventually turn up. But after midnight, they gave up waiting and settled their tab, bringing a giggling Felix with them.
"I'm so excited, I'm vibrating. Can you hear me?"
But Heather and Conrad were quieter. She knew something was bothering him, and she wanted to know what it was. ->
<- Previous Chapter | Gen 2 Start | Gen 1 Summary | Gen 1 Start
NOTE: I didn't initially set out to schedule this post on Remembrance Day. This is just where the last week of Reaper Rewards stuff fit in my existing storyline, but how fitting, in a way. 🌺
NOTE 2: On one hand, Conrad should be romancing her extra hard considering he's lying, but if he tries over-romancing unflirty Heather she'll know something's up even more strongly. So they get a dive bar date night to fulfill the last tasks of the Reaper Rewards challenge.
#sims 4#sims 4 gameplay#sims 4 screenshots#sims 4 legacy#sims in bloom#ts4#ts4 gameplay#ts4 legacy#ts4 screenshots#sims 4 story#ts4 story#legacy challenge#sims legacy#ts4 legacy challenge#gen 2#brindleton bay#reapers rewards#felix psyded
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[<- part one] ~ ~ ~ [part three ->]
'A few more minutes' lasts about half an hour, and the only reason it isn't any longer is that Buck's bladder finally wakes up and makes itself known. He grumbles as he peels himself off of Tommy and grumbles as he brushes his teeth. When Buck shuffles out of the bathroom in his slippers, he follows the scent of bacon through Tommy's house to the kitchen.
Breakfast is quick, and quiet - Buck's on his second cup of coffee as he finishes eating, and he's still waiting to feel his first.
"Here," Tommy says, reaching for Buck's plate. "I'll get the dishes, you pick out what you want to put on."
Buck yanks his plate back. "I don't think so. You cooked, I'll do dishes." Tommy raises his eyebrow and they stand off for a moment - Buck can practically hear Chim whistling that cowboy tune.
Tommy rolls his eyes when he relinquishes the plate, but he can't hide his smile. "Alright. What do you want to watch? I can get it ready."
Buck shrugs and starts gathering the rest of the dishes. "I don't really care, as long as it's not Hitchcock."
"You heathen," Tommy says. He leans in close, presses a kiss to Buck's forehead over his birthmark, and cops a squeeze of his ass. Buck kicks at him and rolls his eyes as Tommy chuckles his way to the living room.
The dishes gathered into the dishwasher and the skillet drying on the counter, Buck wanders into the living room, his slippers tapping quietly on the hardwood. He finds Tommy on the couch with basketball highlights playing on the TV and a stack of DVDs on the coffee table.
"Babe, you're single-handedly keeping DVD printers in business," Buck says, taking his own seat on the couch. "What's the verdict?"
Tommy raises his eyebrow. "The Criterion Collection alone sells an estimated-"
"Kidding, I was kidding!" Buck says, shoving a pillow into Tommy's face and laughing at how he squawks. There's a wrestling match for it, which Buck yields, only to ruffle his hand through Tommy's hair.
"Our options," Tommy says, fruitlessly trying to smooth his hair down and gesturing at the stack of DVD cases on the table. "I didn't know what you're in the mood for, it doesn't have to be any of these."
Buck picks up the stack and shuffles through it - there's two box sets, for Planet Earth II and The Lord of the Rings, and underneath those, a slimmer case for My Big Fat Greek Wedding. He spreads them out across his lap and considers them, looking between each of the covers.
"Here," he says, holding up My Big Fat Greek Wedding.
"What, really?" Tommy asks, looking bewildered. "Is it my birthday or something?"
Buck shoves at his shoulder. "What, I can't want to watch a rom com? I can't be in the mood for romance when I'm with my boyfriend?"
Buck loves saying that word. When they had the labels conversation, Tommy floated the 'partner' option, but there's nothing like the thrill he gets from being able to say 'my boyfriend'. He gets such a thrill from it, actually, that his coworkers have started to drop hints that he's maybe over-using it a tad. Screw them, he's happy.
Predictably, Tommy's face goes all gooey and soft. That's the best part about the whole 'boyfriend' thing - Buck knows he's not alone in loving it. "Alright, whatever you say," Tommy says.
He gets up, takes the DVD from Buck, and gets everything ready. Buck wastes no time when Tommy returns to the couch: he's sprawled over Tommy's side even before the opening music starts playing, Tommy's arm around his shoulders, his fingers tapping along to the music on Buck's bicep. The movie doesn't matter, not really, not when this is what Buck was looking for.
[<- part one] ~ ~ ~ [part three ->]
#rose.txt#bucktommy#bucktommy cyoa fic#to be clear buck's taste in movies is not mine lmao#i love hitchcock. buck thinks he's kind of pretentious
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these violent delights.
dialogue prompts from these violent delights by micah nemerever.
i never told you my name.
who puts those awful ideas in your head?
you're forever assuming the worst.
what's that face? you look like you're going to cry.
you're one of those people who worry all the time, aren't you?
i don't worry, i ruminate. they're distinct actions.
nothing made you. you just are.
beautiful things are supposed to hurt.
people tell you you're shy all the time, don't they?
i don't know how i ever got on without you.
a little trouble is a good thing for a young person.
i wasn't born yesterday. i know what kids get up to.
it's good to have guns to stick to.
you could do anything to me and i'd let you.
i'm not ready to be seen. not yet.
i don't need you to treat me respectfully. i'm not made of glass.
tell me you love me, at least. please. i need to know somebody does.
do i look normal? i can't tell if i look normal.
you can get away with anything, as long as you act like an authority on the truth.
don't tell me what i want.
you know you're just about the worst liar i've ever met.
i don't think you've ever felt anything that didn't hurt you.
you're so square, you're a cube.
i just want you to believe me when i tell you you're worth something.
there are limits to what you can expect people to understand, without living it.
you can't fight everybody all the time. you still have to live with them.
i forget how blue the sky can be outside the city.
i'm going to push you off a cliff, you fucking boy scout.
thank you for trusting me with this.
be a kid while you still can.
please believe in the things i try to tell you, instead of the things you think you deserve to be told.
if the sun touched you for even a moment, you'd go up in flames. like a vampire.
your voice changes when you're angry.
what a lonely, dreary thing it is to know the truth.
you never look away, even when your eyes are closed, but i'm never certain you can see what's really there.
tell me you need me. in those words.
can i tell you something? that i'm all but certain you won't believe?
i never lie to you. but sometimes, i wish i could.
you never let me pretend the truth is alright when it isn't.
you have a profound, elusive sadness about you.
you didn't. please tell me you didn't.
you and your awful little games.
why would i bother to grow my own conscience when you're always around to pester me?
you're going to help me escape.
this house is a shadowbox, never meant for human things.
you have no right to stop me, and you're not going to try.
you're sweet, when you want to be.
do you want me to kill ____? i mean it.
it might do you good to be an orphan.
you're just so sincerely creepy.
wealthy people pay handsomely for the privilege of ignoring cries for help.
i've never seen you like that before. not once.
i've decided to learn to be impulsive.
the worst damage humans do isn't rooted in malice, but in thoughtlessness.
there's such a thing as right and wrong. anyone can figure out the difference if they're willing to think for themselves.
there's no part of you i can't see.
i don't want to hurt you. please don't let me.
you're ridiculous, sometimes. but that's alright.
i don't want you right now. go home.
i'm not like you. i don't even have a shape of my own to hold anything else in place.
i'll never matter the way you do, and you know it.
say what you need to say.
if you say the word 'deserve' one more time, i'm driving us off a bridge.
i've been meaning to talk to you about ____.
i'm worried about what you're getting into.
you don't see me. you can't. you never could.
it's your life. you're entitled to make your own mistakes.
i want you to know you deserve better. you don't have to put up with ____.
you scare the hell out of me. you really do.
you look the same way you always have.
i was worried i'd lost you.
i'll take care of you. i don't need you to be brave.
all i want to do is make you happy, and you're the unhappiest person i've ever met.
i would rather be cruel than weak.
i want you to let me be nice to you today. i don't care if you think you deserve it.
this place looks like somewhere in a jigsaw puzzle.
it's always been real for me. every second.
please don't say anything to my mother.
we can't fix it if you don't tell me what happened.
i'll call you when i can stand the sight of you. don't hold your breath.
hiding the truth is still lying.
i thought you'd finally trust me if you knew i'd kill for you.
i'm just as much of a monster as you are.
i was missing part of myself my whole life, until i met you.
righteous fury leaves no space for fear.
you can always talk to me. about anything, okay? i love you no matter what.
you played [game] in school, didn't you?
no one tolerates boredom worse than the idle rich.
someone needs to be looking after you.
you know you can't actually stop me, right?
i want to be able to look at you.
when you need to, you will understand.
i'm only ever early when i'm afraid.
people talk themselves into the strangest things when they want to look impressive.
in the end, there's no difference between trusting someone and underestimating them.
#rp meme#rp memes#ask memes#inbox memes#sentence starters#rp prompts#ask meme#thriller meme#lgbt#historical meme
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anyway, here’s a preview of the next jason + sionis!reader fic | 18+
tw; reader’s an asshole maybe? a girl failure, perhaps?
"I said, 'are you sober'. You look sober. Are you?"
Jason Todd blinks, like he still doesn't quite understand the question. He straightens his posture, jostling the untouched pint of something between his middle finger and thumb.
"I-yeah, I am. Are you?"
You cross your arms, roll your eyes again and ignore the question. Obviously, you're sober.
"Do you know who I am?"
He looks you over thoughtfully. His gaze conveniently lingers on the pop of your hip and the cleavage peeking out of your ruby neckline. Exactly where you want it. You snicker; so maybe he's a little slow, but at least he doesn't seem to be blind.
"You're Sionis' kid, aren't you? It's been a hot minute," Jason leans forward a little, magically more invested in the conversation. The ginger man standing next to him pauses his attempts to woo a brunette to raise an eyebrow at you.
"My dad hates you."
He scoffs, taking a half hearted sip of his beer.
"And bears shit in the woods, what else is new?"
You don't remember him having that stupid white streak in his too-well-tousled hair. It was sexy. You hated it.
"Fuck me."
IPA dribbles down his idiotically strong chin. His mouth goes a little slack as he blinks once again, harder and longer this time.
"What?"
Ugh, again with the repetition.
"Fuck me. Have sex with me," you reiterate as nonchalantly as if you're asking him to move over.
The redhead next to him starts cackling. Jason glowers at him, shoving the drink into his hand with one arm while pulling you closer with the other. It only takes him a gentle tug to pull your chest to broad chest. He leans down so his lips brush against your ear.
"Hey, you sure you're sober?"
The warmth of his breath in contrast with his mouth, still cool from his glass, sends a shiver down your spine.
"I'm dead sober."
"Okay, you see how I might doubt that given you just walked up to me and asked me to have sex with you."
You push him away and it's like pushing into a brick wall. A very muscular brick wall. "Look, Wayne-"
"Todd."
"Whatever. Even if I wanted to drink, I couldn't because my father drained my entire bank account."
Jason tilts his head, causing a lock of white hair to fall across his crooked nose.
"And why'd he do that?"
You hum amiably, curling your pretty maroon nails around his thick forearm.
"I'll tell you if you fuck me," you promise, batting your eyelashes as you place your other hand over his heart. Much to your frustration, his heartbeat is slow and steady. His sharp face has lost its earlier shock. He looks at ease, pleasantly entertained, with a slight smirk and a cocked slitted eyebrow.
"I think that's called extortion, baby girl."
"It's only extortion if I'm threatening you," you snap back. You should know, your father's an expert in it. You take a small breath, smoothing out your tone again, "I'm just keeping my business to myself. So, I'd call this more of a quid pro quo."
"It's a quid pro quo if I'm getting something substantial out of it," he says this but at the same time, two large hands are sliding over your hips with a featherlight touch. His nails briefly press into your skin.
Something in your belly tightens. Maybe he’s a more worthy opponent than you’d initially assumed.
You tip your head up as you stand on your tiptoes and sneak your much smaller hands under his jacket, brushing up his warm sides. He sucks in a sharp breath.
"If you really had no desire to fuck me, this conversation would've ended by now,” your voice is dripping in something venomously sweet. “And I'm not going to claim I have any idea of what's happening in your own business, but if I had to take a wild guess as to who in this room has the most to gain from fucking Roman Sionis' daughter, you'd be at the top of the list. Even if it's just for the bragging rights."
"You're worth more than just bragging rights, princess,” he says, rolling a fold of your dress between his fingers with a condescending shake of his head. You wonder if he can feel the heat radiating from underneath.
"Prove it."
"...and you're sure you're sober?"
"Wanna test my breath?"
He snorts at your bad line, but his index and thumb are already caging your chin between them. He considers you for one more moment, then kisses you.
You can taste the single sip of beer, but it’s not as strong as the fading taste of a cigarette. His lips move against yours with intent, as if seeking out a falter in your sobriety. Their search comes up empty, leaving behind nothing but a thin string of spit and the overwhelming desire for more of him.
"What's your plan then? Risk it in a bathroom stall?"
You loath how utterly girlish the grin on your lips is.
"Nah, I know a spot upstairs."
#posting this to force myself to finish the whole fic#just need the ending i swear#jason todd x reader#red hood x reader#jason todd x you#red hood x you#jason todd/reader#jason todd/you#red hood/reader#red hood/you#jason todd#red hood#bat family#kenobers poetics#jason todd headcanon
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Just some takeaways from these interviews that feature Ronen, Gina and Brianna!
Enzo will be back in episode 5x08! "We'll probably have to see Enzo in some orange colors, a jumpsuit perhaps because he's in big trouble right now."
Ronen gushing over how cute Jonah was when he says, "Hi, big brother."
Could this be leading to TK and Carlos taking in Jonah? And Ronen's deflecting response of, "I have no idea, that would just, I don't know, I just, I just work here." And looking away from the camera.
Ronen talking about the karaoke scene and having "no idea it was going to be Freddie Mercury, you know one of the most incredible singers of all time. Really talk about under pressure because of course they gave me the Freddie parts. So I was a little nervous because it's one thing to sing karaoke in front of people but this is gonna be watched by millions of people, so I hope I did a good job, and to sing with Henry and then Rob was so iconic... because it's TK and his two dads and how important they both are to him and just crucial to who TK has become as a man...." "They picked Under Pressure for us for a reason, I think the lyrics are very telling."
Talking about the Tarlos photos! "That's gonna be a recurring gif for the rest of time for sure! They knew what they were doing with that one."
Gina does not think Tommy would have stepped away if she had not been hurt like that for her to realize she had to take care of herself.
Brianna and Gina talk about filming the hospital scene! Tommy having to come to terms with leaving a job that means the world to her. "It had so little to do with trusting who I'm going to pass the torch along to and so much more to do with the trust and belief in the woman that's in front of me. And so it was bittersweet...but I know you've (Nancy) got this!"
Ronen saying, "Tommy is Nancy and TK's mama bird. Especially after 5x05." "That scene at the end of 5x07 is so beautifully heart breaking between Gina and Brianna, I just rewatched it again and just started crying on my own, and oh my god, when she asks her to become the temporary Captain..." "But that leads to some really fun stuff for Brianna and I. It's like the kids get to go out on their own now, so you'll see a lot of paramedic calls with just us, which is really fun. But Brianna really holds it down as Captain and we'll see what that leads to Tommy if she can come back or not. There's a lot of intense stuff for Tommy."
Brianna saying, "It's gonna be just TN." "Ronen and I had a lot of fun with the TN dynamic. The kids are taking the car!"
Ronen saying, "TK and Nancy are so close, especially this season, and Brianna and I got really close this season, and I just love her so much and I think you start to see that when we go out on the calls ourselves, and they're gonna be silly little kids, but still professional and so good at what they do and I think that dynamic is going to be really fun to see." "I'm so excited for people to see Brianna really shine and get her moment especially as Paramedic Captain, that's such a huge honor."
Gina talking about the story line Rashad wrote for Tommy this season, "Sometimes it's triumphant and sometimes you don't want to be there... If you're invested in Tommy, it's gonna hurt."
Ronen talking about Carlos' father's murder. "Carlos starts making more progress in the case...and then there's gonna be a few other questions that are going to be brought up that are really going to challenge TK and Carlos."
"Some of the questions are, "Are we ready to take the next step in our relationship?"
"TK fears for his husband's life because Carlos is getting involved with some really bad people, and I think TK vividly remembers seeing his husband almost die when he was kidnapped and I think that's probably an image that plays in his head and I think that's something he never wants to see again. His actions are coming from caring and fear..."
Ronen says TK has at least one scene with Campbell.
Ronen was asked about Judd drinking at his party and if TK will notice with his addiction, and Ronen said, "That leads to an incredible scene between Judd and TK. I think it opens the door for Jim to really shine and another side of Judd we may not have known. It's also just beautiful because Jim in real life is sober and it's a beautiful way for Jim to put his own experiences into that character."
#911 lone star#ronen rubinstein#gina torres#brianna baker#911 lone star spoilers#Another great set of interviews!#Don't @ me for failed spelling 🤣
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Ep 11 of my Utena fansub is out (sorry for the wait!)
だめだめ。そんな味気ないお昼じゃ、つまんないでしょ?
No, no. Don't eat that, it's just packaged junk.
This line when literally translated is actually closer to “a tasteless lunch like that is boring, don’t you think?”. However, つまらない is more versatile than the English “boring”, and it can also kind of mean “not very good”. Plus, I can’t imagine a middle schooler like Wakaba saying “tasteless”. I tried rephrasing the whole line in a way that would make sense being spoken by a kid who’s trying hard to be an adult.
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基本はレトルトだけどフォルムが超プリティーでしょ?
It's mostly pre-made ingredients, but doesn't it look super pretty?
This line took me AGES to hear correctly. I had to write it down as I heard it to make out all the words, and even then I still had no idea what レトルト (retoruto) meant.
Crazy! I’ve used and seen these in Japanese grocery stores my whole life and never known they had a proper name.
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俺なら君をここから出さないな。永遠に。
If it were up to me, I’d keep you here… for eternity.
If it weren’t for the pause, I think I might have translated this line as “If it were up to me, I’d never let you out of here.” However, I think I like that I was forced to work around the pause, because it made me think about how I could end the sentence with “eternity” while still phrasing it in a natural way. The Japanese version of the line works as a complete sentence without the last word addition, which I kind of wanted to keep in the translation (cause then the ETERNITY has more of a gut punch), but I think I did the best I could given the constraints.
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そうだ。僕が姫宮を守らなければ。僕なら姫宮を普通の女の子に戻すことができるんだ。他のやつに渡すわけいけない。たとえ、僕の王子様であろうと。
That's it. I have to protect her. I'm the only one who can help her get back to normal. I won't let anyone else take her. Not even my own prince.
I think it’s important with these lines to start to show how Utena’s well-intentioned chivalry is warping into something that resembles the attitudes of the student council. Here Utena is showing that they can be possessive like Saionji, self-important like Miki, and ruthless like Juri.
I love this, and Akio’s round up of the duels in the next episode makes me think about it more - I think that Revolutionary Girl Utena is all about competing 世界観 (views of the world). I like the duels as a metaphor for philosophical debates. In this episode, the negative influences of the other duelists’ worldviews on Utena’s naive and righteous view of the world starts to really show. I think that the text intentionally shows this change right before Utena’s first loss to signify that this change is a weakening, a corruption, and that their previous worldview was “better” (for lack of a better word).
This is a bit of a tangent but I also think that the times when Utena is led down paths of heteronormativity and normative forms of gender are when they are shown to be weakest in-universe. This episode is a perfect example. Utena commits to two normative ideas - 1. being heteronormatively enamoured with Touga, and 2. the idea that Anthy, a feminine girl, can’t do anything herself and needs a masculine hand to help her and protect her.
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Thanks as always to @dontbe-lasanya for their editing!
Follow the blog if you'd like to keep updated with new releases! All previous episodes are here:
#rgu#revolutionary girl utena#sku#shoujo kakumei utena#utena#utena fansub#translation#japanese#japanese language#langblr#official blog post
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Soap for the character ask game plz :)
Do I really need a reason to yap about him? Nah, but I'll take it, thanks :)
If anyone else is interested, I'll be glad to talk about someone else from COD and BG3. The game itself is here if someone wants to reblog!
So. John "Soap" MacTavish.
favorite thing about them
Is "everything" a good enough answer? No? Damn. I guess I'll have to go with his passion. I can tie that to his ADHD, I can tie that to the fact that he's sunshine (and sun burns hot and flares), it doesn't matter - his emotions are bright, run hot, he's impulsive and he feels so strong. I relate to that, I also just like everything bright and flashy. His anger, his loyalty, his sense of justice, his love - they are so big and strong they cannot be contained inside his heart no matter how huge it is. This is what makes him dangerous, this is what makes him vulnerable, this is what makes him so fucking lovable to me.
least favorite thing about them
The fact that he prefers coffee over tea (source: his VA). I'm sorry, I can't stand coffee, my throat literally closes up and stops breathing if I enter some coffee-smelling space and it's not something I can control well (I tried, I swear). So the knowledge that living with Soap would involve the apartment reeking of the forbidden drink, and even worse, kissing him might taste like coffee... it's heartbreaking. I'm training that man to drink tea whether he likes it or not, coffee doesn't do anything for ADHDers anyway.
favorite line
I mean. I feel like using any of Ghoap batner here would be cheating cuz it is very much the best thing ever and also they're bouncing off each other. So I'll go with "Kids, guns and balloons. That's a new one."
It's at the start in Las Almas. I love listening to Soap in general, I love all the Scott-isms he has (even though it seems actual Scottish didn't appreciate those too much), I obviously love the funny lines he has or when he gets angry. But this one just stuck with me. Probably not because it's a Soap line, but because it's a sad line in general (and hits a little too close to home in the current situation).
But also I feel like it's kinda. The fact that I, a 22yo civilian am not actually surprised to see that "kids, guns and balloons" situation (although I am so fortunate to not be witnessing that directly), and Soap, a 26 (I think?) yo SAS Sergeant who ran off to enlist at 15-16 is. It says something about how he views the world, doesn't it? He lacks that cynicism. I've seen people say that veiwing him as a "happy go lucky" guy is incorrect, but I dunno, man. I think if someone who kills people for his job is surprised to see kids involved into crime+politics games, then he's a pretty damn optimistic lad that believes in the good in the world.
brOTP
Soap and Alejandro. There's just something so smooth, straightforward and inherently good about just two men coming to fight for what's right. Also nothing is funnier than Soap's constant cultural shock in Las Almas and Alejandro just chuckling at every silly question Johnny asks. Big brother Alejandro go go go!
OTP
Karlach x Soap for life, everything else is secondary.
nOTP
I reject the concept of nOTP, even the least likely/adhering to my tastes ships are at least interesting to explore. However, I am not a big fan of toxic relationships and such, so something like Soap x Makarov or Soap x Graves would be interesting to look at, but probably upsetting.
random headcanon
He likes the pink Orbit bubblegum, the one that comes in little stripes. His dad used to bring those at the end of the work week, sometimes unopened, sometimes with just a couple pieces left, and Soap stashed them away in his pillow case when he had the willpower not to eat them all at once. His old pillow in his childhood bedroom still smells like bubblegum.
absolutely based on my own life
unpopular opinion
I don't know what's popular to say what's unpopular. But maybe the fact that I think that Soap isn't like a total horndog 24/7? I still think he is pretty horny, more than an average person, but I also think that he's more tactile than anything and that even when he gets a random boner or just is hot and bothered, he can be satisfied with non-sexual touch. But he does not respond well to touch starvation, oh no.
song i associate with them
I am so bad at assosiating songs with characters/ships etc :( I'll be boring and repeat myself for the third time: Ren's "Loco"
youtube
favorite picture of them
That comission of him and Karlach I got, duh
But if we're talking ingame, nothing beats him being pretty and doing puppy eyes in that Milena interrogation scene. That hand reaching scene alone has me by the throat.
Thank you for asking about him!! Love youu <3
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"Yeah, it would be wild... in all the wrong ways," Wade said. "Better that, though, I guess, than... than losin' your kid entirely..." And just like that, he had kindof a moment with himself. His head shook a little as he tried to get rid of the thought. What would his and Rose's kid been like? Would she even have let him be a part of its life? If Crenshaw had lived, would Rose have wanted to raise the kid with him instead? He'd never know... 'cause Crenshaw, Rose, and the baby were all dead because of his catastrophic failure as a leader and a friend. Wade cleared his throat awkwardly. "Anyway..." he whispered.
"I'm definitely not the ideal candidate for 'dad,' that's for sure. I guess it couldn't hurt to try at some point, but... not with my life the way it is now. I don't wanna be the reason my kid grows up angry at the world because he had a shitty childhood, you know? It's a big deal, bein' a parent. If I don't think I can do it right, then I'm not gonna do it," Wade said firmly. That it was important to him was plain to see.
Wade felt so badly for Rockland. Clearly, he was a great kid. Good head on his shoulders. Some issues, but all good kids had a sprinkling of those. To hear him say he kept messing up all the time made Wade sad, because that wasn't coming from him, it was coming from someone who kept telling him that. "Sounds like a problem with whoever's sayin' that, not you. So what if you keep messin' up? Mistakes are important in life, man. That's how people learn things. That's how we find out what not to do, and how not to conduct ourselves. Every kid makes mistakes and screws things up, they're still learnin' shit. If someone keeps harpin' on that like it's somehow unacceptable or somethin' out of the ordinary, sounds like their hang up, not yours."
He knew well, though, how powerless kids were sometimes to help themselves. They only had so much agency and then it was up to the parents, the guardians, the relatives, etc. to be the teachers and protectors. If those people dropped the ball or were abusive, kids couldn't do much about that most often. "I'm sorry," he said. "I'd say you could come stay with me, but I think that's call child abduction in most states," he said by way of a little levity, since the boy looked so downtrodden. "But hey... I'm probably gonna stick around in this city for a while. If you ever need help, you need a place to stay overnight, you need a little cash to get by... you can always ask me, okay? It won't fix everything, I know, but maybe it'll take the edge off to know you've got a safety net, right?"
Wade let Rockland look at the photo as long as he wanted before putting it back into his wallet. "Yeah, they were. They were really good people who didn't deserve to die like that," Wade said stoically. "That photo was as painful as it was somethings he could never part with.
He tried his best to answer the boy's question without getting too dark again. "Yeah, I had the most experience out of all of 'em. We uh... Sometimes when you go after bail jumpers, things get ugly. They run, they fight back, sometimes there's guns or knives or explosives involved, so we had our own weapons and tactical gear and all that. We functioned like a military unit, and I was like their officer. Ronnie and me, we were actually retired military, so we had more formal training, and we helped make sure everybody else knew how to use all the weapons and equipment, everybody understood the laws and what we were allowed to do, all that stuff. I researched the jobs, I made the plans, and out in the field, I gave the orders, and everybody had their part. Sometimes time and safety were an issue, so we had to be a well-oiled machine, you know? And we were, I thought. 'Til I went and fucked it all up. They did what I said, no questions asked. I demanded it of 'em. I ran a tight ship. And I got 'em all killed."
"Opera? Get the hell outta here, what're you talkin' about, opera..." Wade said, laughing more. "Do I look like I'd belt out an aria to you? Nah, man, I'm all about rock. Classic rock, that's where it's at. What about you, what kinda music're you into?"
When Rockland whipped out his own family photograph, Wade nodded. "Nice. Is that you in there?" he asked, pointing to the woman's belly. "That's nice that you carry that with you like that. It's important to remember loved ones. It keeps us grounded, right? It's not good to go around with your head stuck in the clouds." He'd meant that as a real sentiment, but then, feeling things were getting a bit heavy, he tried to lighten the mood once more. "Foggy clouds in your face... gettin' rained on... every now and then a migratin' goose flies at your head, you get hit upside the head with goose ass, it's just not good to keep your head up there."
Well that caught their attention alright. A middle finger had shot into the air, directed at a group of teens across the street who were hovering by a Duncan Donuts long closed for the night. The boy beneath the hoodie, propelling said finger, sneered. Just like that, the group of five moved towards him, the tallest, Shacks, sauntering forward with an irritating air of confidence. And to think, there'd been a time when Rockland had thought he was cool.
"You can't seriously blame us, Rocky." He looked to the others with cruel amusement, "It was a prank, get a sense of hum-" Too busy searching for the favour of his crew, he'd missed the draw of the younger teen's fist before it met his cheek.
"Prank my ass, I could've been arres-oof." Rockland was tackled by Archie, the smallest of the bunch, who was about a head shorter than he was, but kinda stalky for his age, and with the element of surprise on his side. Cane clattering out of hand, and across the sidewalk, the lanky teen scraped across the pavement, electric pain radiating up from his tailbone. He caught the breath that had been knocked out of him just in time to catch the thump of a fist to the nose in return. - For Wade
Wade didn't know what to make of this city yet. He'd only been here a couple days and was still trying to get his bearings. It wasn't a bad city, he thought, just cold. Just... really cold when you're alone, like all cities are. Nevertheless, Wade did some hunting and stocked up on other supplies, always wanting to stay on the move. That's how he got jobs, and that's how he kept sane.
Tonight had been quiet enough so far... that is until he heard sounds of a fight. But a fight... between kids? Was he hearing this right? Wade made his way toward the sounds, and sure enough, some kids whose parents were absent and whose bedtimes must be fast-approaching were going at it. Or rather, several kids were beating up on one unfortunate one.
"Hey! Come on, cut it out, what the hell're you guys doin'?!" Wade yelled, hoping to scatter the bullies. "You know better than this, get off him! Don't make me call the cops!" he said, watching as they all scattered... save for one. Wade knelt down beside the boy lying on the ground. "Hey, buddy, you okay?" he asked gently.
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Hey, you're being lied to about what fitness constitutes. If you can't work in an hour-long crossfit slog, but you can work in a five-minute walk, then that is still fitness. If you can't use your legs but you can do arm circles every now and again, that is still fitness. If you're moving around at work, that's still fitness. It can be intentional or incidental, but here's the best part: your body doesn't care if you're dedicating specific work-out times. It doesn't care if the "only" fitness it gets is your nine to five on your feet. It doesn't care, fitness is fitness is fitness. Some of us do it differently, but the end result is more or less similar.
If you can do any type of fitness safely, your body isn't going to care if you're doing it like an Olympic athlete or if you're just a casual.
#fitness#gentle reminders#i hate hate hate the idea that fitness must be done Intentionally and in a Hegemonic Way#like... fitness is whatever you make of it and whatever you do#your body isn't going to be like 'well you walked for fove minutes but you didn't do shoulder presses at the gym so it doesn't count 😊'#if you want more specific forms of fitness then SURE you might want to do more specific exercises and activities#but if your goal is overall movement for however much if your body then... you don't Need to be THAT specific#and your goals may be specific for only parts of your body and that's GREAT!#a wheelchair user may for example do more arm exercises so they can use a manual chair for instance...#...and to many people i've noticed they don't think it 'counts' because the chair user isn't using 'all' of their body...#...but it's like... using your arms in non-powered chairs can be really important so like. it's still fitness.#you don't actually have to equally focus on everything if you don't want to or can't#all this to say that fitness is Not hegemonic and you don't need to feel shame about what you do or don't do#even a tiny tiny TINY amount is significant and matters <3#this is definitely something i've gotten more passionate about since becoming a ~gym bro~#because you see just how different people are and what they want out of fitness#and it's taught me a lot more about my own disabilities and how i work with (and even against) them to find balance#this is what i love about those fitness video games too! because they're often made to be engaging and fun!#i LOVED just dance as a kid and that was fitness merging with video games (and i loved video games (still do!))#and i HIGHLY recommend people get video games like just dance or that one nintendo ring game because of these elements!#it combines the comfort of home with movement with engaging music/story/video game elements#and things like that make me believe in peace and love and care on planet earth <<3
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Fuck I hate being an adult. I need a more adult adult to help with the volatile emotional situation.
#I've sort of made a new friend? Like we met at the same art group and he's also trans which was like pleasantly surprising in our small town#but like. We have Differences Of Opinion#and it's not totally his fault because it sounds like he's had a Lot of bad shit in his past that's obviously made him wary and closed off#but like. He's slightly older than me (only 4 years) and keeps blaming a load of his problems on other trans folks?#like you know the type. The like 'all these nonbinary/other identities the kids are doing are complicating shit'#the 'it hurts to see people younger than me inc. kids get hormones thrown at them when I still can't get 'em' (which... yeah not even true)#and he's told me himself he doesn't engage much with the queer community bc it's too 'toxic'#and like. I can absolutely understand why he could've had some bad experiences esp. since he has some mental health shit going on#but he wants to be friends bc he doesn't know anyone else going through the medical shit and it's like. Yeah no shit you don't?#you decided the community you'd find them in is toxic? and that people in them are doing being trans wrong?#and I think if he was just some guy online I'd like roll my eyes and ignore him#but he's a real person in my vicinity and I feel fucking bad for him#and I can see how much self loathing he has and how much that probably informs the bullshit#like he told me he thinks that trans men and cis men are fundamentally different categories and trans men will never be cis men#but not in a 'the experiences are just different and come with different perspectives way'#in like a self defeating way. Like a I just have to settle for being a trans man way.#and it made me SO SAD#like bro#I'm so sorry for whoever the fuck made you feel like you're fighting an unwinnable battle#and I want to be a friend to him. I want him to feel like there's other queer people out there and there's friends and hope#but also I genuinely could see him being the kind of person who would get really angry at you for no fault of your own#like I already get the distinct feeling he resents me a little#like obviously not too much since he still wants to hang#but he's been trying and failing to get HRT for years and I got it super quickly basically by sheer luck/a doctor who looks out for me#like I'm so fucking lucky. And I just genuinely feel like he's the kind of person who might take that personally.#I just do not think I have the fucking. Emotional tool kit to salvage this shit#But I also can't exactly text him and say sorry I don't think we should hang out so. What do.#.....I wasn't even LOOKING for a new friend! I have enough friends!!! I wanted to make clay faces and look at pretty buildings dammit!!!#now I have to be the emotionally mature one who goes hmmm maybe let's not blame other depressed trans kids for our problems buddy#I'm just gonna have to be like. Upfront about my stance and if he doesn't like it well he doesn't have to hang out with me
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um personally i think that if your girlfriend is insecure over you being friends with another girl you should run far away really fast. but i may be misreading the situation. i don't think i am though.
#i may be misreading. all i know is she got pissed at my friend while we were hanging out but friend has mentioned that she's 'got#trauma over being cheated on' which is understandable but we have been friends for a year and also i go out of my way to try and make this#girl understand i want to be her friend and i'm not trying for anything. i have a fucking bf. she has met my bf. she has seen how i am#around my bf vs around her gf. we r legit just friends. what the fuck man. please be normal and don't stress ur gf out like this. it's mean#:( idk all i know for sure is she said something that upset her while i was out of earshot but im using context clues and im not stupid.#genuinely i think she is misreading some stuff. yes me and her gf/my friend get along really really well but it's like.. two kids who met i#a playplace kind of way. we do shenanigans and talk about stuff. i do not want to fw her. i am not willing to fw such a heavy smoker.#i love her dearly but sometimes i think she is- love and light- incredibly pretentious in a way that irritates me a little. fine for a#friend. intolerable in a partner. many reasons why i would never. also I HAVE A BOYFRIEND. THAT I AM SO SERIOUS ABOUT.#insulting to me. honestly. but i could be misreading but i don't think i am.#and insulting as fuck to her gf who is head over heels possibly blindly in love with her my god.#idk i just don't trust that she isn't still insecure about me. and i don't like that she said something upsetting while we were having fun.#i don't like it.#girl i dont want your gf for so many reasons. also i am in a relationship what the fuck girl. what the fuck do you think of me. and also#have some fucking trust in your own gf. insane behavior. insane. she would never ever cheat on her she is possibly one of the most honest#and like. morally sound people i have ever met. she would never. it's so fucked up to think that of her.
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I haven't been involved with coaching for almost 3 months now and somehow I am still getting dragged into the drama.
#personal#move back to your small hometown they said#it'll be fun they said#me chanting over and over again:#if you live here you get to see your family all the time#(this is a good thing for me i love my brother and his family)#dude honestly this whole thing is just hilarious at this point#anyway newest drama is that one of the parents thinks it's suspicious that i 'quit' the same time my best friend moved away#the shit that is being said about us right now??? fucking wild#i haven't told any of those kids why i really left because they don't need me to be gossiping about their current coach to them#that would be so unprofessional of me#i say like she wasn't spreading rumors about me to THEM directly last year#we are all in our 30s here why are we acting like fucking teenagers still#i'm about to be real petty when i go visit next week though#'oh my god you won't believe what i heard crystal is telling people at her salon'#to the coach not the kids lol#i have a sneaking suspicion that the she is involved in this gossip in an adjacent way not directly#and i want her to think about the shit she says before she says it#she's mad that i don't want to coach jv when i told her multiple times i don't want to run my own program#and that i'd be happy to help her out as an assistant coach but that having to deal with parents is my worst actual nightmare#see what's happening right now#literally the only reason i applied is because i love those kids and they were all freaking out about my friend leaving#because they thought their current coach was also going to be leaving#and i was like hey i won't leave you guys don't worry#it's her fault that she chose not to include me in any of her brainstorming for next year#if she really wanted me to be involved she would have been talking to me about it back in april#i'm literally barely pulling myself out of my grief hole about losing coaching#and i could have stayed around but i would have been miserable#because it wouldn't have been in the capacity that i really wanted#oof okay i feel a little better after venting a bit
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vent incoming:
got my grades back for my courses last semester and most of it was to be expected, mostly A's, maybe an A-, etc. but i honestly can't get over the fact that my independent study (the buddy cole documentary) was for some reason given a B. like sure getting a B isn't bad per se, I usually get at least one B every semester and i honestly don't really care about what my exact gpa is as long as i can graduate, but come on. this school put me through months of psychological torment over this project and didn't even have the nerve to give me a B+??? i'm still coping with the self-doubt they forced on me and this bullshit is not helping!!
#honestly it's kind of hilarious ngl. especially bc i also got my documentary work counted as an independent study the previous semester#and the previous semester even tho i barely worked on the doc itself#(mostly just planning and putting together the crowdfunding which was still a lot of work but like compare it to the past few months)#they were willing to give me an A (my school doesn't do A+ so this is the highest mark possible)#vs this semester. like i'll admit my final assignment was late and could have been more polished#but i was literally on tour in documentary-mode 24/7 for several weeks. i filmed an entire comedy special! i put together a live interview!#not to mention having to fucking negotiate with my own college censoring the footage they'd promised me of an event i put together#and play nice with a professor who literally outed me on twitter in an attempt to cancel one of my best friends#at this point the ''B'' feels more like a petty grudge than anything else#like ok we can't get away with *actually* fucking over jessamine's grades bc clearly ze did do the work. but let's just give zir a B#like i will admit the audio quality in my final isn't great. and i could have used more polished footage in some sections#but counterpoint: 100+ students were arrested at a protest while i was editing and i was having a mental breakdown#the fact that i finished *anything* is goddamn impressive especially after they essentially conditioned me to hate myself any time i was#working on a project i loved!!!#due to the aforementioned student arrests my college did put out an option where we could change any letter grade this semester to pass/fai#so anything passing wouldn't impact our gpa if we didn't want it to. so i could just change the B to a ''pass''#but really what's the point. ''B'' is still a good grade and my GPA is fine (3.65 on a 4.0 grading scale. 2.0 is required to graduate)#it just sucks that after what i went through last semester i feel like nobody takes it seriously#i was reminiscing earlier about how it's honestly kind of funny how after that professor outed me on twitter#i was at the hotel with scott like an hour later sobbing and having an existential crisis about my relationship to gender#and scott was so supportive but also awkwardly being like#''i know i should offer the crying child a tissue but where the fuck are the tissues in this room what do i do''#and he just handed me a full-on towel instead like oh my god he was trying his best but also so clearly out of his depth#but of course i then had to remember how when i told that story to a different professor to be like ''this is how much scott cares about me#this guy called me fucking UNPROFESSIONAL for crying in front of the subject of my documentary?????????#like yeah maybe so but how DARE you call me unprofessional when a different professor tweeted my full name and gender without my consent#in an attempt to fucking cancel one of my friends for ''misgendering'' me for using pronouns i'm fine with him using!!!#i don't think i'm ever going to be able to forgive my college and i don't know how i'll be able to get through one more semester#that experience genuinely changed things about my psychology that i'm not proud of and i need to work through#so if i have to miss a goddamn kids in the hall event because i have class this november i am going to set something on fire
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